My Friend the Surfer

Doctor Brown or Dr. Feel Good whatever you want to call him was my official physician. For years he managed to cure my problems and provided me technical solutions for my Enterprise. He was the owner of the master body calibration, or back adjustment to adhere to medicine strict lingo. There was no way I could undertake the antagonism of these mysterious sub-conscious mechanism without consulting him. I needed him as part of the team to undertake the steps of der Vorgang no matter what if my aliments were caused by the dark forces of the der Vorgang as lady Kokodrile suggested; or were simply the result of my wussyness—as Aquaman one night put it sarcastically. It became imperative to seek the services of my doctor. I called and took the first appointment he had. He was thrilled to hear from me at last!

Aquaman offered himself to drive me to Doctor Brown’s office. He wasn’t looking to do me the favor but validate everything I have claimed about my doctor’s master body calibration was true. When we arrived, Doctor Brown was already awaiting me. He was delighted to see “my friend the surfer” as he kindly put it, and invited us without further due to come inside his office. My pathetic superhero became offended, obviously! But he came short to display his crudity because Doctor Brown is one of those persons that transmits good vibes. Once inside the office, I quickly pointed a corner to Aquaman for him to seat; he obediently took a seat.

—So what we have here? Scars, bruises, contusions… Boy you are really beat up. Were you trying to break your bones again? —Doctor Brown inquired joyfully.
—That’s right Doctor Brown. Actually, all those injuries I sustained them during an all-hands down meeting to recognize Dionysius, my lord, my savior; you know the drill…
—Yeah, yeah, now I remember this cult you are forming.
—It is not a cult or religion, Doctor Brown, it is an Enterprise —said I as serious as possible.
—Yes, it is the Enterprise I just recalled our conversations. Mind me I’m getting old. But anyways what can I do for you today?
—Well, Doctor Brown… There is this pain the travels through my back as if I were an electricity transformer the only issue is that it radiates pain instead of power.
—Hmm… Interesting, and what your friend the surfer has to say about this? —asked the question directly to Aquaman, who was self-absorbed looking around the peculiar decoration of the office.

I obviously wished Doctor Brown would had never acknowledged Aquaman’s presence nor asked him anything, but his putrid smelling orange skin vest, his ugly black outdated Speedo, and his poor-fuck face were like his own spotlight. It wasn't easy not to fix your eyes on him! It took him three seconds for him to realize that Doctor Brown was asking him something. These three seconds became my golden opportunity to prepare myself for the inevitable.

—Well… —said the so-called son of Neptune who paused to take a deep breath as if preparing his response —I have advised him to read his horoscope and the Bible every day. I even went beyond my personal beliefs and recommended him a couple self-help books, which I had read and applied them to my life. After all the pain he has gone through these days, he is in great need of some sort of divine help. You know the Lord says that…

—Okay my surfer friend… —rushed Doctor Brown to interrupt what apparently was about to become Aquaman’s sermon. —I know your friend appreciate your caring, right?

—Yes, indeed… He does care about me and the Enterprise. This is the main reason he still has his position as Superhero Designer Consultant —said I right away to help Doctor Brown stopped the nonsense of my fishy assistant

After all he and I didn’t believe in the propaganda of the horoscope or divine books neither on the gibberish of the self-help books. This is something that Aquaman was trying to push on me since I brought him on-board. It was impossible to reason with persons whose brains were washed with ideas that were not theirs. Since I left the Christ in the cross, my approach of survival became a mind over matter affair. I stopped soliciting help from the heaven instead I developed an incredible self-reliance that allowed me to carry-on difficult situations, and which I was employing to move through the steps of der Vorgang.

I looked at Aquaman expecting from him a counter-argument. Luckily, he has lost interest on the conversation and was caught up looking at the masks hanged through the wall of the office.

—Shall we start the healing?

 —Yes, doctor Brown let's show this pain who it is dealing with!