High Beams

Excuse me officer could you please tell me why did you stop me?—because you had your lights up and didn’t put them down.

—Did you put them down? –asked Aquaman in disbelief as he was ready to hear another bullshit from his prototype superhero.

—Of course I did man! I probably took three or four seconds to put them down, but I did put them goddamn lights down. The roads were dark to begin with, the Androidtrol came all of the sudden from a 45 degree curve, in that specific moment I was asking my copilot something, and besides I couldn't recall where the high beams switch was. Remember I told you I was driving a rental car. She passed us, made an illegal U-turn, and turned the red lights on; I pulled to the side and this was pretty much the beginning of Der Vorgang.

Excuse me officer could you please tell me why did you stop me?

Because you had your lights up and didn’t put them down. Can I have your driver license and your car registration please?

—It is a rental car, here is the rental agreement.

—Thanks

— And then? Aquaman asked half intrigued but somehow resigned to hear more bull crap.

—She asked me if we were drinking and I responded my friends were, that I was the designated driver, and shit. She asked me to step out of the car. I followed procedure.

—Well, you probably deserved it. Besides you were probably drunk, the so-called son of Neptune added ironically.

—Listen… Aquaboy! Don't jump into conclusions. I would like to say, just like I made the lawyer said to Judge Judy, that I was caught up in a series of unfortunate events of which I had no control. I just let myself go, didn't resist or argued against my bad luck. As I simply put it to my grandons, I was on the wrong place and at the wrong time. Besides you as crime fighter know better that resisting Androids or trying to out-smart them doesn't work. I opted to let the events conducted me to wherever I was supposed to be. This is the main reason I didn't cry fault before, during and after der Vorgang. Yes, it became the biggest irony, the grand absurdity. It was all meant to happen the way it did. First of all, the way I was stopped was ironical. For failing to put down the high beams. Can you imagine?

—Okay, I get it now.

—Look at you Aquaboy! It is not my problem; you are such a dweller and are confined by the crime of the shark and killer whale or whatever happens on the water. You can't even help the BP Oil Spill because you would simply die!

—Okay, okay... please!

—I have choices and opportunities you clearly don’t have. For years I have made the best out of the worst, and the grueling of der Vorgang proved to be another test of my resilience and mind over matter approach. The rookie Android perhaps benefited for a day or so. She used me to probe to her peers she belonged to the Androforce. When they learned about the specimen she caught, they probably felt sorry for her. However, what Androids know about reaching top of the mountains? Striving for their dreams? If they skip college and settle with a salary of a journey men. Their blue uniform becomes their own prison.

—Oh come on mister bragger, be humble and be content nothing wrong happened to you, said fishy smelling superhero.

—Go to hell!!! What do you know about driving a car with high beams?